This weekend was rather busy. A sick child derailed my plans to complete a service project for Habitat for Humanity with my Sorors on Monday. Poor thing, he got struck with the infamous stomach virus that has made its way around. I thought we were in the clear but apparently not.
Friday evening my SIL came in town with her besties to look for a wedding dress. They ventured down to Bridals by Lori as in “Say Yes to the Dress.” Unfortunately I was unable to attend because I had already committed to helping out with a fundraiser my chapter was having for our Debutantes. She found her dress and it is GORGEOUS and I had a great time with my line sisters.
Saturday evening I was scheduled to attend some events but my husband needed to use the car and I was just plain tired. At some point everyone laid down for a nap and I awoke while they were still sleeping. I used that very RARE and precious time to spend some time alone comfy on my couch watching a Cosby Show Marathon. Sometimes it truly is the small things. It only lasted about 2 hours but it felt like an eternity.
Sunday, I woke up early and placed some dinner in the crock pot. My SIL and her besties were headed out again to find bridesmaids dresses. My SIL is one of those people that managed to master the makeup videos on YouTube and while she was “beating” her own face I asked for a slight “beat” and she obliged.
My Chapter was hosting a Sisterly Relations activity at No Mas Cantina, a local Mexican restaurant downtown for some fellowship and food. After I was all made up I headed out to No Mas. I looooooove my Line Sisters. WE take advantage of all opportunities to take photos!
Sunday evening, I made it home and relaxed, and had movie night in the theater with my SIL and her friends. Finally watched The Butler. What an awesome movie.
So, that was my weekend. Did you make Monday a “day off” or a “day on?” How was your weekend? Has that nasty virus found its way to your house?
I shall be a little in my feelings today. No pretty pictures just an emotion and epiphany that came over me last week about allowing people into your space read opening and closing the doors to your peace of mind.
With much anxiety I made the decision to shut some people out of my life. Closing the doors on these friendships didn’t come from a place of malice but rather a need to be able to grow as I needed without snide comments or constantly feeling the need to explain my personal goals. At the time I needed people to “get it” I needed them to “get me” and unfortunately some people didn’t meet the challenge and as hard as it was I had to let go.
In my letting go, I found myself in the company of magnificent women from the interwebs and real life who got it. They fed my need to continuously grow and thrive and strive for better. They understood that it’s truly not cool to be in the same place, doing the same things you did in your 20s that don’t contribute to long term financial, physical and spiritual sustainability.
As I find myself in a good space now. A space that needs no confirmation or support from anyone I contemplated reopening a few doors because I have a forgiving heart and the desire to love those in open who I have known for many years. These thoughts crossed my mind for a few days. I even wrestled with them. One day last week someone reached out to me. A person I don’t know and shared some information with me about a door I was going to attempt to reopen. Whether the information she shared with me was true or not, it was enough to bring that situation back to light (in my truth) and let me know that at times it is okay to truly move forward and love people from a distance.
As sad as it is, I am having these weird feelings of letting go again. The result this time since I’ve gotten myself and my circle together? I’ve found that it is quite okay to shut SOME doors, LEAVE them shut and even add a storm/burglar door to which I have no key.
Have you reopened closed doors? How did that work for YOU? Do you believe in forgiving and forgetting and trusting again?
I’m not much of a resolution girl but I have been in deep thought about new habits to adopt in 2014 to make my life easier, encourage personal growth and see the ideas in my head go from thought to manifestation.
I am by no means an expert, but as I created my list for the new year I thought I might share them with you!
Just Say NO: Assuming you aren’t into recreational drug use this “Just Say No” has not a thing to do with Reagan’s campaign but everything to do with managing YOUR time and maintaining YOUR sanity.
Saying no shouldn’t be as hard as it is, but some of us feel the need to be helpful when in reality when we refuse to say NO we are often times making life harder for ourselves. In the new year I’ve vowed to never answer someone right away if I can help it. I have decided to respond by saying I need to check my calendar to allow myself time to decide if taking on said task will actually be feasible for me to accomplish without too much disruption to my routine. I give you permission to add H*ll no as necessary so that said party knows its real and to come correct before asking you to do things they could surely do themselves.
Write it Down: You would think this one is self explanatory and obvious, however as a person who has left the bread and milk in the grocery store when they were the main items I went for….I think pencil and paper need to be my friend in the new year.
Keeping track of children’s schedules, room mom duties and bills my mind will play tricks on me. I’ve found lately that if I make lists of the things I need to do, things I need to buy and places I need to be my mind doesn’t seem as cluttered and I don’t feel AS flustered. I’ve bribed myself into this new habit my purchasing a plethora of planners, journals, pencils and pens. Make these necessary evils pretty and you are more likely to make proper use of them.
Plan Tasks and Allocate Time: Again, in the past my important tasks were jumbled in my head along with where I might find an AKA sweatshirt and if not careful the latter would come before the necessary and I would be left at the end of the day SMH because the important tasks weren’t accomplished but I had my sweatshirt though. This is a true story.
I am now writing down my tasks daily and prioritizing them by importance and allocating a time frame in which each needs to be completed. All business related matters are handled first and everything else comes second. If I haven’t completed the task in the allotted time I move on to the next task and come back around to it after all important tasks have been touched. Of course this is up for revision depending on how important the task is. I am finding this to be beneficial in making sure I get everything done daily.
Accountability Partners: Birds of a feather flock together anyone? There is nothing worse than starting in the same place as someone and they make moves and you are left standing where you started. Use a little friendly competition and let accountability to a like minded person push you forward in 2014.
The key is finding that person that will politely READ you if you haven’t accomplished that goal and reported back within the specified time. I have found some accountability partners where I will be embarrassed and shamed if I didn’t at least have some sort of update to give them on my goal progress. Sometimes being accountable to ourselves isn’t enough. We need deadlines and sometimes we need positive people to help us enforce them.
Start It. Finish It: In the past I have been the master of starting a million things and finishing none of them. Call me Jemimah of all trades, master of none. I’m tired of not seeing things through to completion when I know I have the ability to finish them.
The key to this I believe is being realistic with oneself before starting on a journey. Anything is possible but the real question is do you have the passion to see it through. Answering those hard questions before starting may help with making sure completion becomes the ultimate goal. I’ve decided to sit down and take the time as well as consult with my accountability partners before setting off on anything new. Sometimes perspective will let us know the likelihood of us finishing something before we even start.
Y’all know I’m no kind of expert on life but I’ve made enough mistakes and as I knock on 35 I have come to the conclusion that processes are not here to hurt us but to make us better. I’ll roll with it.
Have you had an epiphany on new habits to adopt that may help some of us? I implore you to share! #SharingIsCaring
Did ya miss me?!
Took a few weeks off to get well, enjoy the holidays and just reflect on my moves for 2014.
Christmas was well. We didn’t go all out for the children, each was given 3 gifts except for the baby. Lil Mama was blessed with 5 gifts, but she’s a baby still so yeah!
We decided moving forward that Christmas would be more about building traditions so Christmas Eve we made cookies
The baby woke at the crack of dawn. I tried to put her off for a few minutes. That Southern Comfort
mixed with Hennessy had me sleeping goooooooood, you hear me? My son got a tablet, my stepdaughter a laptop and Addison got her own baby tablet better known as a Nabi
I’m glad the holidays are over. It always seems like life is suspended and then everything goes back to normal. Now I’m just counting down the days until school is back in session. These folks are driving me crazy over here.
How was your Christmas? Anything spectacular happen? Anybody get engaged? Anybody get a new car?