*Today’s post is sponsored by The Style Network*
If I had a penny, or even half of a penny for every post that I’ve encountered on the blogosphere talking about how Moms and women in general feel about juggling everything from families and careers to being a SAHM and finding time for oneself I would be a rich lady. Very rich.
We see the balancing act daily in our real lives and even on television. Tia and Tamera on The Style Network epitomizes the struggle of trying to be a Mom while juggling career and entrepreneurship dreams. Tia and Tamera are back for season 3 on The Style Network and from the looks of it they are all about finding balance. Take a peek at a clip for the upcoming season! The new season debuts on Sunday, July 14 at 8/7C on Style.
If you could stand to win $2000 swing by Tia and Tamera’s Style Network Page for information on how to enter their Instagram “Who Is Your &(And)?” contest which requires you to take a photo with your favorite person and tag Tia and Tamera on Instagram. Click the link for detailed instructions. Also be sure to follow The Style Network on Instagram.
When it comes to finding balance my opinion of having it all is quite different and I suppose it is attributed to the fact that I’ve worked, and wanted this amazing career and hit the glass ceiling very early on. Hit my head so hard forget climbing back down the ladder I just fell from the top rung and was left splatted and laid out cold on the floor. I woke up dazed and confused wondering why I was at the bottom when it took so long to get to the top and I had sacrificed time with my family and most importantly my happiness.
When I finally peeled myself off of the linoleum I got up with the help of some smelling salts and went soul searching and I found that indeed while there are things that I want, there are external factors that I can’t control. When I realized I could only control my reactions to those factors I became a very happy person. I choose to see the good in everything and everybody until I am proven wrong. I set goals and I plan out the road maps to get to them as reasonably as I can.
See I think people struggle with this because they are trying to go against the grain of what is natural. What is natural is different for everybody but for ME I’ve learned the needs of my family trump everything and I live my life accordingly. I’m not always the best mother and wife but at this point in my life having it all is making sure they are happy, and second comes growing a successful career working from home. My priorities are as such and in that order. When I feel stressed I go back to what’s most important and I work everything else around that.
Finding balance hasn’t been easy and from day to day I feel like I’m dangling over the Grand Canyon by my puny arms but I start over fresh daily. Looking at what I did right and what I did wrong and moving forward. I demand certain things when it comes to making time for myself and I will act a fool if folks don’t cooperate so they know first hand about happy Mommy/Wife makes for a happy life.
If I had to offer any suggestions on “finding balance” I would say from experience:
- Make self care a priority, make time for yourself.
- If you don’t feel like doing it. Don’t do it. If folks won’t starve, be dirty, or hurt themselves it can wait.
- Give it your best, that is all you can do.
- Don’t let other people’s goals drive you.
Are you a fan of Tia and Tamera? How do you find balance? Or are you all like what balance?!
At the end of the year I think it is pretty safe to say that people find themselves in a place of retrospect thinking over the past year. Pondering their failures, rejoicing for their successes and plotting on what’s to come. I am no different and although I can truly say I am proud of the things I accomplished in 2012 there were still some mistakes that I made that came attached to some valuable lessons.
This year I faced my fears and launched my business Divinitee. It was a long time coming and it felt so good to finally succeed and have the support of so many of you and others behind me. On the back end I learned a lot about business, people and myself. I know many of you may be pondering starting your own business in the new year so I thought I might share some of the mistakes that I made. This blog is about my life, but I also hope you see it as an uplifting, and useful tool. If I can stop someone from making the same mistakes I’m all for it. Sharing is caring!!
Source: justfindit4u.com via Mimi on Pinterest
1. Be selective about who you go in business with: Remember my blog post about Separation Anxiety. Without airing all of my dirty laundry, said person was also my business partner. I went into the venture thinking that I was insufficient to run it on my own. I was afraid and I let that fear convince me that I couldn’t succeed on my own when indeed I could have. As a result, my business credit has been ruined and financially my business is bankrupt. I will come back, I don’t know how but I will.
Moral: of the story is believe in yourself. If it’s not absolutely necessary to include someone on the payroll then don’t.
2. Utilize Your Network: To piggyback off #1, some of the things I brought on another person to do I could’ve essentially pulled on and bartered with my network to get those things done without having to answer to another person regarding my vision. If you have surrounded yourself with genuinely helpful people you will find that you have most of what you need. For the things you can’t manage within your network pay a professional to do it. Keep in mind you get what you pay for, sometimes its better to pay someone well up front, rather than having to pay someone to fix another persons mess.
Moral: Before you share your business or get discouraged about not having the money to do something consult your network. You will be surprised.
3. Do a SWOT Analysis of Yourself: For those not familiar SWOT stands for Strengths, Weakness, Opportunities and Threats. Look deeply at yourself and your capabilities. Although you may feel you don’t have the time to do the Social Media aspect of your business but you are good at it, you need to make the time. My good friend Erika shared with me something that rings true in my head…”Either you have time or you have money.” If you have no money then you need to make the time to do the tedious tasks required to keep your profits in your pocket and allow your business the time and space to grow.
Moral: Make the sacrifices. That may mean no sleep. I’ve heard toothpicks will hold your eyelids open very well at work!! The sacrifices are nothing compared to the joy of success.
4. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff: Starting a business requires so many minute details and processes on the back end from business licensing to business card design. Don’t let those small things stop you from working toward the bigger goal. I am the kind of person that feels like everything has to go in order and when I don’t have the money or the resources to make one thing happen I let it halt the entire process. Don’t be like ya girl. Still get clients, keep making your product, keep working under the table while you’re getting those other things in place. Otherwise the small things will discourage you from your ultimate goal.
Moral: Keep moving and if you have to FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT!!!!
5. Have Fun: Starting and running a business can quickly turn your passion into a headache. Keep in mind why you are doing what you are doing and if at any point you feel unfulfilled reassess whether or not you really want to continue. At this time I am no longer passionate about Divinitee. I don’t know if it’s the situation or if I choose not to run a business that requires so many moving parts. I am not throwing in the towel yet but I am reassessing. In the meantime I will leave the website up while I figure out my next steps and processes.
Moral: Sometimes we think we want things until we get in the throes of it. It’s okay to fold but think about why you are throwing in the towel. If its fear keep going, if it’s lack of passion take a minute to think before making a huge move.
Are you pondering starting a business in the new year? Are you a business owner, do you have any additional tips to add?
I know. I’ve been off the grid a bit. Things are a little crazy, I leave for Miami soon and just trying to get a house prepared with children and a husband for a mother to be gone for a week is a task.
Lil Mama will be spending the week with her godmother so packing her and myself up, along with the fact that I had two photo shoots last week, three major events this week, and trying to put the final design touches on Divinitee’s summer line has made for one frazzled mama. In the words of June Ambrose, I’m slightly “spiraling” these folks better stay out of my way!!
Enough ranting…time to rave
but not like that
Tuesday my very good friend Niya who is the owner and master bakestress over at Candy Cake Company did a press showing for her new cake pop flavors. So you know I am all about support and slid my way over to show my love
and eat tons of cake pops. So?
Her new flavors include Pistachio, Lavender Vanilla, Cookies and Cream, and Orange Chiffon
…and they are delectable.
If you are in need of cake pops or would just like to try them please reach out to her via the web. If you are in the Atlanta area she does deliver. If you are outside of Atlanta shipping is an option.
Shirt: Thrifted Jeans: Thrifted Arm Candy: Thrifted Shoes: Sole Society Purse: Thrifted!!! (it was the one I blogged about that I thought was gone)
How are you, and what has you spiraling? I haven’t been around to your blogs but I promise I’ll make my rounds. Thank you for reading!