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entrepreneurship, Life, Mompreneur, Parenting, Sanity, Sans Ads

The Do it All/Have it All Mom Struggle

July 10, 2013
Tia and Tamera Mowry

*Today’s post is sponsored by The Style Network*

If I had a penny, or even half of a penny for every post that I’ve encountered on the blogosphere talking about how Moms and women in general feel about juggling everything from families and careers to being a SAHM and finding time for oneself I would be a rich lady. Very rich.

We see the balancing act daily in our real lives and even on television. Tia and Tamera on The Style Network epitomizes the struggle of trying to be a Mom while juggling career and entrepreneurship dreams. Tia and Tamera are back for season 3 on The Style Network and from the looks of it they are all about finding balance. Take a peek at a clip for the upcoming season! The new season debuts on Sunday, July 14 at 8/7C on Style.

Tia and Tamera Mowry

If you could stand to win $2000 swing by Tia and Tamera’s Style Network Page for information on how to enter their Instagram “Who Is Your &(And)?” contest which requires you to take a photo with your favorite person and tag Tia and Tamera on Instagram. Click the link for detailed instructions. Also be sure to follow The Style Network on Instagram.

When it comes to finding balance my opinion of having it all is quite different and I suppose it is attributed to the fact that I’ve worked, and wanted this amazing career and hit the glass ceiling very early on. Hit my head so hard forget climbing back down the ladder I just fell from the top rung and was left splatted  and laid out cold on the floor. I woke up dazed and confused wondering why I was at the bottom when it took so long to get to the top and I had sacrificed time with my family and most importantly my happiness.

When I finally peeled myself off of the linoleum I got up with the help of some smelling salts and went soul searching and I found that indeed while there are things that I want, there are external factors that I can’t control. When I realized I could only control my reactions to those factors I became a very happy person. I choose to see the good in everything and everybody until I am proven wrong. I set goals and I plan out the road maps to get to them  as reasonably as I can.

See I think people struggle with this because they are trying to go against the grain of what is natural. What is natural is different for everybody but for ME I’ve learned the needs of my family trump everything and I live my life accordingly. I’m not always the best mother and wife but at this point in my life having it all is making sure they are happy, and second comes growing a successful career working from home. My priorities are as such and in that order. When I feel stressed I go back to what’s most important and I work everything else around that.

Finding balance hasn’t been easy and from day to day I feel like I’m dangling over the Grand Canyon by my puny arms but I start over fresh daily. Looking at what I did right and what I did wrong and moving forward. I demand certain things when it comes to making time for myself and I will act a fool if folks don’t cooperate so they know first hand about happy Mommy/Wife makes for a happy life.

If I had to offer any suggestions on “finding balance” I would say from experience:

  • Make self care a priority, make time for yourself.
  • If you don’t feel like doing it. Don’t do it. If folks won’t starve, be dirty, or hurt themselves it can wait.
  • Give it your best, that is all you can do.
  • Don’t let other people’s goals drive you.

Are you a fan of Tia and Tamera? How do you find balance? Or are you all like what balance?!

entrepreneurship, Faith, Me, Mompreneur

You Have What it Takes

December 19, 2012

At the end of the year I think it is pretty safe to say that people find themselves in a place of retrospect thinking over the past year. Pondering their failures, rejoicing for their successes and plotting on what’s to come. I am no different and although I can truly say I am proud of the things I accomplished in 2012 there were still some mistakes that I made that came attached to some valuable lessons.

This year I faced my fears and launched my business Divinitee. It was a long time coming and it felt so good to finally succeed and have the support of so many of you and others behind me. On the back end I learned a lot about business, people and myself. I know many of you may be pondering starting your own business in the new year so I thought I might share some of the mistakes that I made. This blog is about my life, but I also hope you see it as an uplifting, and useful tool. If I can stop someone from making the same mistakes I’m all for it. Sharing is caring!!

Source: via Mimi on Pinterest

1. Be selective about who you go in business with: Remember my blog post about Separation Anxiety. Without airing all of my dirty laundry, said person was also my business partner. I went into the venture thinking that I was insufficient to run it on my own. I was afraid and I let that fear convince me that I couldn’t succeed on my own when indeed I could have. As a result, my business credit has been ruined and financially my business is bankrupt. I will come back, I don’t know how but I will.

Moral: of the story is believe in yourself. If it’s not absolutely necessary to include someone on the payroll then don’t.

2. Utilize Your Network: To piggyback off #1, some of the things I brought on another person to do I could’ve essentially pulled on and bartered with my network to get those things done without having to answer to another person regarding my vision. If you have surrounded yourself with genuinely helpful people you will find that you have most of what you need. For the things you can’t manage within your network pay a professional to do it. Keep in mind you get what you pay for, sometimes its better to pay someone well up front, rather than having to pay someone to fix another persons mess.

Moral: Before you share your business or get discouraged about not having the money to do something consult your network. You will be surprised.

3. Do a SWOT Analysis of Yourself: For those not familiar SWOT stands for Strengths, Weakness, Opportunities and Threats. Look deeply at yourself and your capabilities. Although you may feel you don’t have the time to do the Social Media aspect of your business but you are good at it, you need to make the time. My good friend Erika shared with me something that rings true in my head…”Either you have time or you have money.” If you have no money then you need to make the time to do the tedious tasks required to keep your profits in your pocket and allow your business the time and space to grow.

Moral: Make the sacrifices. That may mean no sleep. I’ve heard toothpicks will hold your eyelids open very well at work!! The sacrifices are nothing compared to the joy of success.

4. Don’t  Sweat the Small Stuff: Starting a business requires so many minute details and processes on the back end from business licensing to business card design. Don’t let those small things stop you from working toward the bigger goal. I am the kind of person that feels like everything has to go in order and when I don’t have the money or the resources to make one thing happen I let it halt the entire process. Don’t be like ya girl. Still get clients, keep making your product, keep working under the table while you’re getting those other things in place. Otherwise the small things will discourage you from your ultimate goal.

Moral: Keep moving and if you have to FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT!!!!

5. Have Fun: Starting and running a business can quickly turn your passion into a headache. Keep in mind why you are doing what you are doing and if at any point you feel unfulfilled reassess whether or not you really want to continue. At this time I am no longer passionate about Divinitee. I don’t know if it’s the situation or if I choose not to run a business that requires so many moving parts. I am not throwing in the towel yet but I am reassessing. In the meantime I will leave the website up while I figure out my next steps and processes.

Moral: Sometimes we think we want things until we get in the throes of it. It’s okay to fold but think about why you are throwing in the towel. If its fear keep going, if it’s lack of passion take a minute to think before making a huge move.

Are you pondering starting a business in the new year? Are you a business owner, do you have any additional tips to add?


Divinitee, entrepreneurship, Event, Fashion, I.Wore, Mompreneur, Rant, Raves, Thrifting

Spiraling and Cake Pops

May 3, 2012


I know. I’ve been off the grid a bit. Things are a little crazy, I leave for Miami soon and just trying to get a house prepared with children and a husband for a mother to be gone for a week is a task.

Lil Mama will be spending the week with her godmother so packing her  and myself up, along with the fact that I had two photo shoots last week,  three major events this week, and trying to put the final design touches on Divinitee’s summer line has made for one frazzled mama. In the words of June Ambrose, I’m slightly “spiraling” these folks better stay out of my way!!

Enough ranting…time to rave but not like that

Tuesday my very good friend Niya who is the owner and master bakestress over at Candy Cake Company did a press showing for her new cake pop flavors. So you know I am all about support and slid my way over to show my love

and eat tons of cake pops. So?

Her new flavors include Pistachio, Lavender Vanilla, Cookies and Cream, and Orange Chiffon…and they are delectable.

If you are in need of cake pops or would just like to try them please reach out to her via the web. If you are in the Atlanta area she does deliver. If you are outside of Atlanta shipping is an option.


I wore:

Shirt: Thrifted Jeans: Thrifted Arm Candy: Thrifted Shoes: Sole Society Purse: Thrifted!!! (it was the one I blogged about that I thought was gone)

How are you, and what has you spiraling? I haven’t been around to your blogs but I promise I’ll make my rounds. Thank you for reading!

entrepreneurship, Making the Brand

Making the Brand

January 5, 2012

Things are still moving along. With Christmas in the picture, I decided to take a few days off to enjoy my children. Now that 2012 is here, there will be little time for R&R. Yet I still was dealing with a few issues.

The shirts are at the printer and will be back the week of January 9th. I am beyond anxious to see how they will turn out. I hope they look okay.

Someone once told me that you can’t do everything. I took that advice, contributing a ton of my failures in the past with this business venture to trying to do it all and be a Jill of all trades and a master of none. I decided to relinquish some control and solicit a partner. The part I forgot to do was be a good communicator. There was a bit of a hiccup between her and I regarding expectations and the like. Being that we are friends, I contemplated foregoing the partnership and getting an intern but after much prayer and thought I decided I do need some help. Everything has been ironed out but I will say this to YOU. If you decide to have a business partner please make sure to outline ALL expectations up front. No room for error or lost friendships. I am a very forgiving person so these things are nothing but water under a bridge, but if you are one to hold on to things I say don’t partner with a friend. I hope all is well from this point now that everything is out in the open and we can move forward.

I haven’t had an opportunity to look into changing the name of the LLC. Well I have had time, I just didn’t feel like looking into it. It’s these lazy ways that must cease to exist in 2012!

I am getting a bit scared as I get closer to launch. There are still alot of moving parts that are going into this photoshoot..Models, MUA, etc. But this promotional piece was put out. Can you say excited!


Pray for me. At this point I want to quit. I wonder if this is all even worth it. I have put so much money into this. I’m not really expecting to see a profit for some time but I am trying to psych myself up to be proud of myself for taking a serious stab at this whether it takes me months to sell the first shirt or not. I’m scared. I won’t lie.

Where are you in your process of living your dreams? You scurred to?


Divinitee, entrepreneurship, Faith, Making the Brand, Mompreneur

Making the Brand

December 16, 2011

Hey Y’all

I feel like I haven’t been here in forever. I scheduled the few posts that you saw this week and my reader is off the chain. I will get around to your blogs sometime this weekend. Don’t disown me!

This week has been busy. I am knee deep in pulling together the pieces to get Divinitee’s photoshoot together. I am designing new shirts while working with the printer to get them printed and back for our proposed January 6, 2012 shoot date.

There is so much work that goes into these things that it’s mind boggling. I have decided I will share with you week to week what I am doing to rebuild my business/brand . I have been so inspired by many of you who are following your dreams so I hope that maybe by me sharing with you the mistakes and triumphs that I encounter in this process you will be inclined to step out and follow your dreams in the new year.

So far the past month has been spent doing background work such as designing a new logo, getting the website created and operable, growing the Twitter and Facebook following, searching for a printer,  someone who creates swarvoski designs, applying for licenses and filing the paperwork to establish an LLC. All of this has either been done or is a constant moving piece and now I have moved on to more production oriented nuances.

Much time was spent researching costs. When dealing in quantity $.75 makes the difference. I spent nearly 2 weeks researching and researching and researching some more until I found the best price. Just when I found the right price the fit of the shirt was very small and I wanted to include my busty girls so I went on the hunt again and was very pleased to have found a cut that shows ev’ry body love….and the fact that it was $2 cheaper than my initial pick and a better quality …..*praise dances*!!

I haven’t had too many hiccups in the process. I did make one mistake that will  cost money. I set up an LLC under a broad name to encompass some other businesses that I want to start next year and the blog. I found that you have to file a trade name request to do business under another name.

In Layman’s terms. I set up the LLC as Essence of Glam LLC but I wanted Divinitee to fall under it. Well I have to pay $197 to see Divinitee as a tradename so that it would appear as Essence of Glam LLC doing business as Divinitee. Got it? Well the LLC only cost $100. So more than likely what I will do is see if I can change the name from Essence of Glam LLC to Divinitee LLC. If I can’t I will just spend the $100 for a new one. The other will get used, and since I saved so much money on the shirts I’m still on budget. All of this LLC business is necessary for tax purposes so I need this to be right starting at the beginning of the year. I’ll update you next week on how that goes.

Word of advice: If you plan on filing an LLC make sure you do your homework and read the fine print guidelines for your state. Set your business up the correct way first. I hear it’s a headache to move backwards.

This week the press release was sent out!!!!!!!

Today I will drop these off to the printer. Uber excited!!!


This is the paper I was working off of #bootleg


I’ll give you a bit of a sneak peek when they come back!

Please make sure you are following on Twitter, and Facebook. Giveaways may or may not be on the horizon ;-) You can find the links on the website…that is now live!!! You can’t purchase and the photos are old but will be updated after the shoot. The designs there will be in the new collection but they will be amped up a bit!!!

 Thank you from the bottom of my heart Christina of Visual Luxe and Being Mrs. Jones for all of your help. You are appreciated.

I’ll be back next week. Have a great weekend!

What steps are you taking to make your dreams come true in 2012? < !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!