I am a Niche Parent Network & Conference influencer and received compensation for this post. All opinions are my own.
I hear my own drummer, my body is often in a room while my mind is on the other side of town, my picnics are often short a sandwich.
This is me, Mimi. Take it or leave it is what it shall be.
My mind is always in perpetual motion. While someone is talking to me my mind may be on what’s for dinner or my grocery list. I have found myself struggling with simple tasks trying to reason and go against my nature in completing things to make them acceptable to others. I’ve always been aware that I have my own way of doing things that perplexes others, and in failed gestures to make others more comfortable with MY actions I adjusted them.
Those days are gone. That ship has sailed, it has approached the horizon and is no longer visible. Squint if you must, it’s not there.
The past few years, since my mother’s death has been a wake up call for me. We are given our lives to live and be true to ourselves. In doing so it is never okay to hurt others intentionally, but it’s okay to understand that this may be the perceived outcome. We all have our different perceptions of reality and what was unintentional may be seen as the opposite in another set of eyes. Making peace of that and moving on is life.
This epiphany has cost me some sleep, some rejection and severed friendships and I am fine with that. Growing weary of people who have always had their best interest at heart and yours second, is the truest of wake up calls and the greatest reality show written. Truth be told we should all have our best interests in the forefront, it is this realization that has allowed me to forgive others for taking advantage of me as well as forgive myself for allowing them.
To finally reach a place of true self acceptance, that offers no apologies or explanations is akin to angels singing, or spinning in the middle of the street with sun rays beaming down only on you. As the saying goes “Freedom isn’t free” and its not. From the battlefields our servicemen fight on to the battles in our own mind freedom comes at a cost and we have to be willing to pay the price.
I’ve put down a hefty down payment and I’m paying the rest as I go. It’s been worth every dime. I suggest you start throwing your own coins toward freeing yourself if you haven’t already!
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Have you accepted yourself or are you still offering explanations and apologies? If so, why?