I have come to the conclusion that there are two varieties of separation anxiety. There is one type that we know as a child and another one that we encounter as adults.
Most of us are familiar with the version in which we are attempting to sneak out of the door after we have left our child with a caretaker. Limiting the amount of leg hugging, crying and screaming is at the top of our priority list as we attempt to head on our way somewhere.
Then there is the one where we know we need to let go of some things in our lives and it is just down right hard. In this instance we are identical beings to that child that we left behind crying and screaming for us. We are tightly holding onto the leg of something in our past. Clinching for dear life not wanting it to leave us because it is familiar, it is what we know, it is people, places and things that have been an integral part of our lives for so long.
The issue with the adult scenario is sometimes we really do have to let go of old things to get where we are going. We have to come to the realization that some of those things are no longer good for us, or don’t have our best interest at heart.
I am facing this very issue right now. For some time I had a friend that I had a tugging on my heart that I needed to separate myself from. Not that said person was bad but that I was changing as a person and instead of embracing that change and adapting their friendship to me there were lots of questions and statements revolving around the fact that I had changed. Well, I was under the impression that the only constant in life is change so I wasn’t going to stay the same person to appease said person.
I knew the separation needed to occur but I didn’t know how to make it happen. I didn’t know how to approach it, I was just all mental and emotional about it but in the end I knew it had to be done and I prayed that God would make a way.
Ever heard the saying be careful what you pray for because you just might get it.. Yeah. That.
Well last week I got it. I got my out and it fell in my lap. Said “friend” did something that was totally disrespectful in their own best interest, and proceeded to come at me with their sob story after we had discussed the action that was performed because this wasn’t the first time.
I am HURT! I have no shame in saying so.
I took this as a lesson to fully embrace change and know that people are indeed in our lives for seasons and reasons. No matter how hard the anxiety falls on us when we know its time to let go we have to fight through it and make those changes.
After I said my piece I felt just that…at PEACE. I am able to walk away knowing I was a great friend. I was loyal, loving and helpful. I lent a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on. I did that…AWL of it.
OH well. You win some, you lose some but in the end I kept true to myself and that’s all that matters.
Have you ever had to break ties with something, or someone? Do you need to?!!